The weather is so windy right now, just like my heart.

Got tons of thoughts in my mind.

I shouldn't be here from the start. I shouldn't be in anyone else life from the start. I shouldn't be knowing you from the start...

I'm too resent over the past. You know what? People always love to compare. When the day I knew the comparison of me and your love one. I know the fact that I will never ever be at the first place. She shouldn't be the one to taken away, but why? This is too unfair!!!

I hate myself so much that you aren't deserved to be treated like that from god. This is so unfair, why should I be here? I'm nothing good at all, at all...non. 

You deserve someone better, do you know that?

Miserable moment

I forget when is the last time, I felt this way again.
A feeling that hardly express and even difficult to describe in words.

Why am I feeling this, this time? Question marks all surrounding my head.
I felt so lonely out of a sudden.

Suck day...

I always tells myself, to forgive people mistakes, and forget what they done to me.
But I always fails to do so.

I can tolerate for once, twice, or maybe more but not again and again.

too much.

your not even giving a try.

Im apology of being busy body.

p/s: is difficult of not worrying, but I wonder how many of us would really care about how others feel?
your not even taking it as priority, why would others?

"Change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future"

It used up alot of guts to tell.

Thought it would just kept with me.

I must be someone scary, horrible, terrifying, mean...aint it?

I don't tell, it doesnt mean I not being honest.

 sometime something is better to be kept.

I felt ashamed of myself.

Though I know time can make all these fade away slowly.

But once the words said out, its no way of taking it back.

p/s: I cant denied the fact but Im being very protective nowadays.

but I wont forget what did I wrote for the resolution this year, I wont forget the promise I made to myself. I know Im big enough to be resposible to myself, and to other people.

 Words are always easy than action. Why dont we just left it empty and do it in action first? Can you fill up the blank for me?

 

执着

原来开心真的很重要。

昨天遇见一位很可爱的朋友。

他看来不会有戒心，人很单纯，开朗。

如果能像他一半，那该有多好？

但，说实话，背景不一样，那又如何会明白呢？

原来很多东西，以为自已看得很开。

才发现原来自已从没放开。

那么固执有什么用了？

仲觉得自已永远都做不好，害怕没有人会认同我

Happy Labor's Day =)

I got no idea why are we doing this, lol.

It's first of may.

Hopes everything goes well.

Can't wait the exam to be over.

Can't wait for the year end trip.

So many to plan for the next few months.

p/s: All the best guys. Work hard and work smart!
Oh, btw, Happy Holiday peeps...=)

Bersih 3.0

As a malaysian, I felt so ashame with our country.
You can do anything in malaysia as long as you got the money.
Government and the police in malaysia are useless. How would a country improve?

p/s: Salute for those who sacrificed for it, rest in peace!

nonsense.

Few days counting it gonna turn to another month, time flew.
I been asking myself for times, why I ever waste my time for thinking something so meaningless and useless? I been questioning myself for times, does it really helps me to become an optimistic person? but it resulted an answer of, no. It makes me feel low-esteem.


p/s: Thought I became a wiser person but it showed that Im still the same old me.
p/p/s: I always tell myself, forgive and forget for those who doesnt care.. at least you did your part.

empty night

My mood is kinda empty right now but with tons of thought in my mind, hardly expressed it in words.
I know it's very mean to think that way, but can't help, it's just cant help...*sigh*

p/s: 7 days counting til my exam, hopes everything goes smoothly, stop thinking much heyy... *sigh*

11 days

So good to be home right now.
So happy that I don't have to work for the next 3weeks.
But the saddest thing is, exam is on the early of may.

and back to work as usual after the exam, thats my life. *sigh*

...

Read my diary today and realise that I failed my resolution this year.
But it gained me something, that blessed.

I always judge things from my bad experience, from the past, no matter how good was the things happening right now..
Being stereotype will never be a good thing. But the most difficult and challenging thing was to gain back my trust...faith.
Is so hard....

I know it is different this time but I seriously couldnt help it.

p/s:  I hardly remember when, I got no idea how to express my feelings, myself...

$$$$$$$

Exam is in two weeks time.

I really hope I had the motivation to do something, to get things done.

In fact, I will never understand what they gone through.

So, who to blame? there's no one else.

Why everything needs money?

Why there's poverty and wealth?

Why we arent borned to be equally?

Fed up with the job Im currently working.
my plan all ruined cause of the late paid.
luckily I aint all relying on this money, though I really need extra income, Im so gonna die.

This world would be peaceful if there's no such thing called money.

Great sunday

Had a really great night, today. Did many things with the, first time.

They're easy going.
Love how they communicate with each other, I hope it could happen to me, someday.
Bit of not used to it, maybe Im still not good enough, yet.

*sigh* Guess I can never be good enough...

p/s: Maybe I'm still not well prepared for it.

Today quote:

Life's too short to worry about what people think or say about you. Do what you want to do and be happy.

414 =)

The officially...

Today quote:

The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your mistakes and weaknesses and still thinks you're completely amazing.

Helllloo Thurday =)

Can't wait the following days to come. Well, really gotta stop outing after this.
Exam is around the corner, this will be the last second sem of mine.

Yeah, gained my weight in few months time, which made me really frustrating, yet, can't denied the fact that Im really happy with my life right now. Hope I could get to lose weight like how I looked like before.

Today quote:

You are prettiest when you're happy. Don't waste your time being sad.

How to gain confident?

An attractive woman is not based on how pretty they are, but the confident they had.

Guess I can't never be one of em.
Lack of confident, this is my biggest weaknesses.
I always get affected by a little tiny thing, but I take it as a motivator after I digested.
But why it dont seem any improvement? hmmmm

10 April

I'll never acknowledge something,  though I knew the truth.

Change your destiny

Stand in other people shoe, and think. You may find out a different view.
Those things which is not happened to us, we hardly understand how does it feels, how does they really going through.

Guess, we will never know.

But, what I can say is, don't resent over the past, what done is done. What's really matter to us is today, tomorrow, and the following days......

=)

You'll be grateful that you appreciated by the one, who you really cares...

No matter how many times you falls, please don't give up. Because you wouldnt know someday miracle would happen, have faith...always.

The, human being

Met kinds of people after working as a part time. Its never too bad thou. You will learnt alots from them what you couldnt get to see, you'll eventually understand the word, called, "reality".

Sometimes, you just have to act stupid like you don't know anything, life would be easier.

An emo wed

Girls always get emo without a reason.

Im so sick of being one of em too.

its so difficult when everytime you tried so hard to get over with the feeling.



and everything seems to annoyed you, including the people.

Got a very bad mood since the day I fell sick.

cough non-stop and I feel like banging myself to the wall til I faint everynight, so I can have a good rest.

Its truth that a person get angry, frustrate easily when they get not enough sleep.

Just like me, I cough at least half hour before I fall to the dream.

Thats suffocate and tiring. 

.

.

Guess Im being selfish all the time.

But gotta admit it, human being is selfish, dont they?

I should have stand in your shoe all the time instead of just thinking for my ownself.

I felt bad afterall.

Thinking back, thats really my fault.

But it sometime makes me think that whether Im doing something right?

In fact, I dont have to know or look for the answer...

The fact is Im nothing, still...  

Its April, another month again...

The answer still left blank. Or its better to be left untold or unsaid? Sometime Im wondering, whats gonna happen after even theres an answer? Or I didnt want to know it from the start? *sigh*
Why it could be so hard?
Still waiting for it...

Its Thurrrr....=)

Woke up very early in the morning.

Wasnt really get into sleep due to my cough, suffered for the whole night.

Fetched my aunt to hospital for her check up.

and went to visit granny awhile.

Had not meeting her since the day her operation, well, she's still healthy, and I hope it always.

.

.

.

I do afraid of having uterine or breast cancer, just touch wood if anything happen. Cause chances of women who get this percentages is merely high. But I refuses to go for a body check up, maybe Im too fear of it?

Anyhow, women out there, do go for a body check up every half year or every year..

Better to be safe than sorry.

Take care and Good dayy =)

Simple wed...=)

Once again, I feel like deleting all the posts that I posted past few months or year. I didnt do it and yah, I moved them all into draft.
Have not been blogging for quite sometime and I think I dont really know how to blog right now, something seemed to change huh? Well, til here then, I got nothing much to write actually, haha.